By Saeideh Mohajer – The Toronto Tribune
I remember in the early days of my yoga practice, I would head to the studio extra early to secure the perfect spot right near the door. That spot right by the door gave me the security and the comfort that I needed at the time. There were a few reasons why I loved that spot. First and foremost, I knew I could grab my mat and run out of the door if the practice became too challenging or the room too hot or unbearable. It was also the perfect spot because any time the door opened and a breeze came in, I was the first one to gulp in that fresh breeze of air and look to see what was going on outside the room. Also being by the door meant that I didn’t ever truly have to experience the scorching heat of the infrared heated vents that were placed near the front and the middle of the room which the people at the front, or the other sides of the room got to experience. In short it gave me an out. I was able to participate and learn but not really truly engage. I also recall spending a great deal of time, in those early days, looking around to see what everyone else’s practice looked like, how advanced they were and if they were advanced, then I would secretly make it my mission to compete against them and make sure that I won whatever competition I had set up in my own crazy mind. In short, most of my Asana practice was about what was happening outside of me and little, if any of it was spent focused on my breath and posture and the inner growth and healing that I was there for in the first place.
Well at the time my life was a mere reflection of my Yoga practice. I was a warrior looking for a battle to win, and an escape route whenever things got uncomfortable or challenging. My only solution and coping mechanism in life was to run. Even if I had nowhere and no one to run to, I would choose to run anyways. Regardless of how insignificant or trivial the matter, my automatic instinct was to flee, and avoid uncomfortable situations all together. I spent a lot of my time looking around for direction and for guidance from sources outside myself. It was really important to me that everyone else approved of my actions and my decisions and that I pleased everyone, even if it meant jeopardizing or compromising my own happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t being a selfless Mother Theresa, I just lacked clarity, confidence, focus, faith, and love to recognize that everything I was searching for outside of myself, I already possessed within. If I would have just slowed down and recognized that the really yucky, ugly and uncomfortable moments in life are just like the really challenging poses in yoga. They happen and all you have to do is breath through them, acknowledge them, and bless them and recognize that they too shall pass. For example, I really really, really hate doing the eagle pose, it’s not even a challenging pose but I just don’t like doing it for some reason. So these days whenever it’s time to do the eagle pose, I welcome it because I know that if I can just bare through a few uncomfortable moments of this yucky pose, then I will eventually get to do my favorite crow pose or better yet get to rest in Shivasana. The truth is Shivasna is much more rewarding and fulfilling after a really challenging practice that almost broke me but didn’t.
Our sexual life http://respitecaresa.org/job/directcarestaff/rcsa-logo-2/ cialis free sample matters a lot, people should not have a wholesome sex life. levitra 100mg Old after the fracture is often difficult to achieve. tadalafil 20mg canada If it is instance to intake the subsequent dose, then it is fine if you avert missed one. However, gradually it was observed that the drug has its great impact over sensuality of discount viagra the person.
Today, interestingly enough, I don’t lay my mat by the door anymore, instead I go right up to the front of the class and I don’t spend any of my time looking around the room trying to figure out what the people next to me are doing. In fact, I try as much as I can to do my poses with my eyes closed. Now I focus on my breath and my posture. I listen to my body and the feelings each pose brings up and how I can make the transitions more graceful, and the journey more enjoyable. I also really appreciate the challenging, unbearable moments in class. The moments where I absolutely think I won’t be able to make it through, because the beauty of those moments is that I always do. I always make it through the unbearable moments and eventually make my way to Shivasana and the harder the class, the more challenging the poses, the sweeter is my Shivasana.
This is how I’m trying to live life these days as well. There are a lot of moments in life that have the potential to break us but now when those moments occur, I do my best to treat them as I treat the eagle pose, I acknowledge it, I bless it and then just breath through it knowing that this too shall pass. I am going to get through this and I’m going to look back and laugh and know this could have, but didn’t break me. Life becomes a lot more scrumptious if you approach each obstacle or challenge as one pose away from Shivasana …
